Bill Harzia
Occupation: Germ.
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human if life should get too stressful in there!
Best friend: Silly Cosis.
Likes: Hanging out with Silly Cosis; winding up Penny Cillin, the Antibodies and the White Blood Cells.
Dislikes: Psychosis; being told what to do!
Most likely to say: “Yowzers!”; “What just happened?!”
Not likely to say: “When I say ‘Panic’ – we panic!”
But is he a good friend? Definitely! He’s clever, resourceful, faithful and honest – and you can always rely on him. As ‘unofficial leader’ of the Germs he gets them out of many awkward scrapes, whilst always having fun! (Usually by annoying Penny Cillin and the Antibodies!)
OK, so where does Bill get his name from?
Bill gets his name from the disease bilharzia. It’s caused by parasitic worms that infect the blood, often resulting in damage to the liver and making the sufferer extremely tired and lethargic. It’s carried by freshwater snails. The disease affects an incredible 243 million people in Asia, Africa and South America.
Silly Cosis
Occupation: Germ; Bill’s sidekick.
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human if life should get too stressful in there!
Best friend: Bill Harzia – naturally!
Likes: Hanging out with Bill; a quiet life.
Dislikes: Psychosis; too much excitement!
Most likely to say: “Incoming!”
Not likely to say: “Follow me – I have a plan...!”
But is he a good friend? Only if you like a lot of drama! Goes to pieces more quickly than a jigsaw puzzle or a Lego model! Definitely ‘high maintenance’ and not the smartest of germs, but amusing and fun to hang out with.
OK, so where does Silly get his name from?
Silly Cosis is named after the lung disease silicosis, which is caused by breathing in dust particles that contain silica over a long period of time. The disease causes fibrous tissue to grow in the lungs, making breathing difficult.
Major Epidemic
Occupation: Soldier germ; commanding officer of the Legion.
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human if life should get too stressful in there!
Best friend: Army Majors don’t have best friends!
Likes: Shouting at the Legionnaires; thinking he’s in charge (when really it’s Bill!).
Dislikes: Antibodies and White Blood Cells; having to fight. (He’d rather just give orders!)
Most likely to say: “Ah-ten-shun!”; “I don’t like the look of this…”
Not likely to say: “Follow me, men – we’ll soon put this right!”
But is he a good friend? That depends on if you like a lot of shouting! He’s very short-tempered too (as well as being very short), so maybe not!
OK, so where does the Major get his name from?
An epidemic is an outbreak of a disease that spreads very quickly. Prior to this year's Coronavirus, the last major epidemic to affect the whole world – called a pandemic – was the flu epidemic of 1918-1920. This was an unusually powerful type of flu and it infected 500 million people worldwide, resulting in 20-40 million deaths.
Legionnaires
Occupation: Soldier germs.
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human if life should get too stressful in there!
Best friends: Their fellow Legionnaires!
Like: Staying inside Castle Brainstorm, where it’s safe!
Dislike: Antibodies and White Blood Cells; having to fight and go on exercises
Most likely to say: Not much really – there’s no talking in the ranks!
Not likely to say: “Tell us again why we’re doing this?”
But are they good friends? Perfect if you want to start a football tournament because there’s a lot of them. Otherwise, not so much: they’re scared of strangers and even of going outside!
Ok, so how do the Legionnaires get their name?
Legionnaires’ Disease is a type of pneumonia, caused by legionella bacteria that live in hot water tanks, cooling towers and air conditioning systems. Pneumonia itself causes the air sacs in the lungs, called alveoli, to become inflamed. The name Legionnaires’ Disease was first used in July 1976, when an outbreak of the infection affected 182 people attending an American legion convention in Philadelphia, USA, causing 29 deaths.
Psychosis
Occupation: Mad scientist and full-time Evil Genius germ.
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human should life get too stressful in there! (Castle Brainstorm is his ancestral home.)
Best friend: Has no time for friends, just his servant Igor, whom he made himself!
Likes: Evil experiments; speaking in the third person; making Igor’s life a misery.
Dislikes: His experiments going wrong (especially when Igor interferes and wrecks them); Bill always being right.
Most likely to say: “… I’ll turn you into something unpleasant…”; “Wait’ll I get my hands on you, you…!” (This is usually directed at Igor.)
Not likely to say: “Do forgive me – I seem to have made a mistake”, or “please” and “thank you”!
But is he a good friend? Say what?! You’re seriously asking me that?! What do you think?!
OK, so where does Psychosis get his name from?
As befits an evil scientific genius, Psychosis is named after the psychiatric condition psychosis. Often described as having a loss of contact with reality, it can take many forms – including bi-polar disorder, and even cause delusions and hallucinations.
Igor
Occupation: Miserable slave. (Possibly a germ once – or even several germs – it’s hard to tell as he was created by Psychosis to do his bidding!)
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – and Castle Brainstorm, to be exact.
Best friend: Not allowed friends – only has “Master”.
Likes: Master.
Dislikes: Master. (He’s not very bright and is easily confused!)
Most likely to say: Never speaks!
Not likely to say: “E = MC2, where E is energy, M is mass and C is the speed of light – squared.”
But is he a good friend? Surprisingly, yes! He’s very loyal, faithful, and will never argue. Often needs to be brought back to life during a brainstorm though, which is a bit of a downer. And don’t get me started on all those sparks – they’re a BIG fire risk…
OK, so where does Igor get his name from?
Igor is inspired by the monster in the book Frankenstein, a Gothic horror written by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley and first published in January 1818. Also called ‘The Modern Prometheus’, the novel tells story of Victor Frankenstein, an eccentric scientific genius who manages to create life in the form of a hideous, human-like creature.
Beri-Beri
Occupation: Cute little twin girl germs! (Awww!)
Home: Presently inside Max, a 10-year-old boy – but could move to another human if life should get too stressful in there!
Best friend: Each other, naturally! (Awww!)
Like: Being very naughty; doing things all little girls like doing.
Dislike: Being told off. (But then who DOES like being told off?!)
Most likely to say: “This is what we’ll do…”; “Do tell…”
Not likely to say: “We’re VERY sorry!”
But are they good friends? They’re very cute but much too naughty and mischievous to be good friends with anyone, as you never know what they might do next…
OK, so how do the Twins get their name?
The Twins get their name from the disease beriberi, which is actually a group of symptoms caused by a lack of vitamin B1 (thiamine). First identified in Java in 1630, the disease can affect the central nervous system and the heart.
Cap’n Blackhead the Pirate
Occupation: Pirate germ, and captain of the ‘Bad Breath’. (Also the legendary hero of ‘The Ballad of Blackhead the Pirate’.)
Home: Sailing the Great Acid Ocean inside Max’s stomach, aboard his ship the ‘Bad Breath’.
Best friend: Gold, naturally – he’s a pirate!
Likes: Treasure chests full of gold, such as the fabled ‘Pieces of Ate’; sailing the high seas in Max’s stomach; shouting and sword fighting.
Dislikes: Not being able to steal golden treasure; being captured for stealing golden treasure; when his ship sinks.
Most likely to say: “Run up the ‘Jolly Roger’ and we’ll capture that hoard!”; “I’ve got a baaad feeling about this...”
Not likely to say: “Honesty is the best policy.”; “It‘s better to give than receive.”; “I couldn’t possibly take that – you keep it.”
But is he a good friend? That depends really! He’s very loyal to his crew, not so much everyone else.
OK, so where does Cap’n Blackhead get his name from?
Cap’n Blackhead the Pirate is inspired by the infamous pirates of the 17th and 18th centuries, such as Edward Teach (c. 1680 - 22 November 1718), aka ‘Blackbeard’. Of course our pirate captain is a Germ with a very prominent blackhead on his right cheek – hence his name! He is also partly inspired by – and pays homage to – the Warner Bros. ‘Looney Tunes’ character ‘Yosemite Sam’, created by the legendary animation director Isadore “Friz” Freleng (1905 - 1995), and on whom the character of 'Yosemite Sam' was allegedly based! Sam first appeared as a pirate in ‘Buccaneer Bunny’ (1948) and subsequently in ‘Mutiny on the Bunny’ (1950) and ‘Captain Hareblower’ (1954) alongside his nemesis, Bugs Bunny.
Infectious Entertainment!
'Bill Harzia's Small Stories' copyright ©2012 - 2024 Andrew Moss. All rights reserved. Registered in England.